Thoughts

I found this in a little (not old) notebook, written badly with a random pencil.

PART I

I am sitting here, leaning my feet on the fire ring. The Ocean sound is getting now quieter now louder. Some kids are crying and I don't even understand why, since this place gives me such a quiet peace.
It is perfect.
The smell of burning wood, mixed with the smell of the Ocean.
The light of the pretty twinkling stars and the one from the lantern on the wood table right behind me.
The fire is warming my legs up, while my body is having gooses.
The sounf of the Ocean is disturbed by those kids' cry.
It looks like the perfect situation.
Who would not like to be sitting here, right where I am or, maybe next to me?
The chocolate in my mouth is melting fast. It is neither hunger, nor is gluttony.
Sometimes I just want to feel better. And chocolate does make you feel better, it probably also makes things look easier. But not always apparently.
It's just... sometimes my head is just so full of ideas, feelings, wishes, memories, fears, thoughts, dreams. And all of them usually depend on each other, right like a chain.
It is all stuck in my head.
My memories of me being a kid hiking in the mountains, year after year, thesame places.
Thoughts about my future, the close one and tha far one.
What am I going to do later on? Or just, how is my life going to be, back at home?
Or again... Is it going to be always thinking about what happens next, or am I going to be able to live my present life?
Am I living the present? Seizing the moments? Do I ever get excited for concrete things?
These and more more questions are crowding my mind, making me feel weird. A lot.
A stick in my head, my eyes are staring at the logs and the pieces of wood glowing, incandescent.
My eyes feel hot, tired.
Tired of... wanting more than in this moment I should desire.
I guess is pretty normal. Well, I hope, at least.
Atmospheres like this usually inspire people.
The stars always play their role. The Ocean waves gently crushing relax me.
The ocean is not visible, it's too dark.